[x]

ProsetryI can't see the light;
Does that mean I'm blind?

I can't hear the truth;
Does that mean I'm deaf?

I can't feel the happiness.
I can't smell the new air.
I can't hear the song of the new day.
I can't see the changes that I've made in the lives of others.
I just can't.

And so I'll use my imagination.
I'll use it to "see" the wonderful world outside
With it, I shall "hear" the nice things people say.
I will "feel" the love that we have for one another.
I will "smell" the fresh flower bed.

And I will understand why people hide in the deepest recesses of their mind. They want to hide away from the horrors of the world outside and live in their

Coming Apart at the SeamsAgain my arms have paid the price,
For the pathetic thing,
I call my life.
Cuts up and down,
Decorating my arm,
Keeping me safe,
From emotional harm.
Guarding my soul,
All through the night.
Showing that there is darkness,
Even in light.
So no matter how much I try,
To just go past,
The scars on my arms will always last.
They'll line up,
With the ones in my heart,
Until the day,
I finally fall apart.

tICK TiCKI'm one of you,
Cut me,
And I'll bleed.
Slice through my skin,
You'll see.
I cry tears,
Just the same.
You hurt me,
Without even knowing my name.
Stop my heart,
I swear I'll die.
To see the truth,
Look in my eyes.
Don't ever stop to think,
How your words affect me.

*blink**blink*
You've missed it.
All your words were shit.
They just keep coming and coming,
Never stop.
I smashed the windows,
And broke the clocks.

So tick,
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,

Tick.

B

O

O
M

Life in the ShadowsIs it wrong that I feel this way?
Am I wrong because I'm...
Different?
The feeling if being normal,
I miss it.

I can't tell anyone;
I'm so afraid.
The way I was,
I should've stayed.

Is this really a disease?
Is there really no cure?
I'm so confused;
God made me,
Yet God is pure.

So what you're saying,
Is I should change?
That I'm wrong,
Because I'm gay?

Don't tell me that.
I refuse to change who I am.
You don't own me.
I mean,
Damn.

I Have Never Really Known YouI see you're hurting.
I try to help.
I can't reach you.
Can anyone else?
The one who loves you,
Does he hear your plea?
If anyone does,
It's not me.
I know you are strong,
But it's okay to be weak.
It's okay to fall down;
It's okay to be meek.
Before you fall,
In that briar patch,
You should know,
I have your back.
We laugh,
Together.
We cry,
Together.
Soul Best Friends For Like,
Fucking Ever.
Our time together,
Will never pass.
Jump off a bridge,
I'll get on my boat,
And save your ass.

Cut ItI’ve got so much to say
But not enough words to say it;
Perhaps I should scream it
Or cry it,
No;
I should cut it.

Blood speaks so much louder than words,
Blades cry so much sharper
Pain screams so much softer
And it’s the only way I know how to talk
Even if it makes it hard to walk
For days after.

I think I’m going to hell,
Well, that’s just swell
Because ever since I fell
Pain’s all I’ve known anyway.
It’s like a blanket,
Hiding all the hate from view,
The shield between me and the monster,
The monster that is me.

Ever heard of freedom?
Yeah, so have I,
But I don’t know what it is
Only tha

I Met MeToday I met a girl,
and she asked, "How are you?"
"Just fine," I replied.
She said, "No, tell me what's true."

Perplexed, I stopped and stared.
She was young, no older than eight.
Her eyes were still innocent.
They knew no hate.

"What did you say?"
I asked in confusion.
"You know what I mean," she said.
This girl was in a delusion.

Trying to be kind,I replied,
"No I do not."
She frowned and replied,
"You lie quite a lot."

Now I was agitated.
What does this girl know?
Acting like she's so intelligent.
I'll just tell her to go.

"Let me explain!"
She exclaimed in haste.
"I know you're not alright.
I know you feel misplaced."

What?
How in

I'm Fine"Are you okay?"
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."

The MonsterI can't trust;
I can't love you.
The monster,
It's overpowering.
I'm not strong enough;
It has invaded me.
Every organ,
Every cell,
Every molecule,
Has been destroyed,
And taken over by something that isn't human.

It has to be something else;
It has to.
I wouldn't cut myself.
I wouldn't hate myself,
Or starve myself,
Or lose myself in a sea of hatred,
Of bloodlust,
And sorrow.
Would I?

A Unhappy Ending to my Cinderella StoryYou look at me,
Eyes filled with disgust.
It's not an option,
You must.
You must because you married my father.
If I were smooth marble,
You'd be an angry carver,
Your greatest masterpiece.
Sell me in an auction,
Take your kids and leave.

If I were a punching bag,
You'd be the greatest boxer.
And all only because,
You married my father.
You'd wrap up your knuckles,
Beat me til I'm soft.
Then harden me up,
From my hook you take me off.

You promised,
Promised you were different.
But you're not,
And I want to end it.
I thought you weren't like her;
I was wrong.
You're a spitting image,
Of my very own mom.

ClaireClear away the mistakes I've made.
Love me for who I am.
Accept me because
I am only me.
Remember all the times I've been there,
Even when I didn't want to be.

Love me.

The Butterfly BoyI saw a boy playing in the dark.
He was small and frail, but his eyes had a spark.
In the hands of the child was a shimmer of light,
Matching that of a star in the night.

The shimmer glowed vivid and pink,
Rather cute, someone might think,
And a smile rose on my face,
As I watched his moves, full of grace.

As the shine grew bigger, it split,
Making shadows dance as it did.
Repeating his motions several times,
The boy was now swarmed with pink butterflies!

The boy stood and raised his hands,
Allowing me to see him entranced,
With a gaze in his eyes bright enough
To cover all in his days, that was rough.

I found myself watching for hours,
Wishing I had such magical powers...
So I let my eyes rest,
Letting darkness fill my chest...

***
Many years passed since then,
The boy's now a handsome young man.
And the spark in his eye

Can'tCan't whiteout my mistakes,
Can't erase them from the page.

Can't shake my past,
Try though I may.

Can t run from you,
Wish I could.

Can't make myself happy,
Know I should.

Can't smile,
Have to frown.

I can't stay up,
I have to bring myself down.

I do,
But I don't.

Is it can't,
Or is it won't?

Johnny Boy"Johnny Boy"

Little Johnny sits on his wooden doorstep everyday isolated
Never having a girlfriend nor any friends left him frustrated
Johnny was a proper person, but unfortunately mocked at school
For reasons kids can't comprehend because kids can be cruel

Little Johnny's now on his doorstep weeping alone; he has nobody
He takes a sip from his Kool Aid and cries to himself; he's so lonely
It's not his fault he wears glasses and acquires good grades
But he's never been to a sporting event nor ever stayed up late

This pattern happens everyday as the kids push him around
Some days are worse than others; like the time he kissed the ground
If

Stolen from the LightThere was a girl
an innocent girl
until the dark stole her
from the light

And the dark broke her

It washed the colour from her eyes
and replaced the green with gold
Her world bent over backwards
because she no longer saw the light
only the dark

And then everyone shut her out

When she smiled, it was no longer an innocent smile
Nothing could hurt her anymore
Because if it did
She’d hit back

And then the dark toyed with her

She played with men
She played with their minds
until they broke too
She was no longer innocent

And then she gave up a part of herself

She stopped feeling one thing there was left to feel;
guilt
Because she fin

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More from =clarissabelle

Lo, How She Lie, Still and BrokenI'm trying so hard to get better,
So hard to be strong.
I'm trying so hard to keep smiling,
So hard to go on.
But I'm getting tired,
This happiness drains me.
The walls are closing in,
It's getting hard to breath.
My conciousness,
Goes in and out.
The room goes black and white.
I can't take much more of this,
I think I've lost my sight.

Moral of the story:

You can't do it all,
Because no matter what you say or do,
Even the mighty fall.

Society and What She IsEvery smile is a lie.
Every laugh is a lie.
Every single time I say I'm okay,
I lie.
I have never been happy.
I learned that I need to hide,
Hide the depression,
Hide everything that is wrong.
Hide what I feel,
Because society thinks it is wrong.
Society,
And it's uniformity,
It's disgust,
Press down on me like an anvil.
Society is breathing down my back,
Analyzing me,
Like I am not human.
Like I am not one of them.
I do not conform,
So Society makes me believe I am wrong,
A freak,
A science experiment.
Society makes me this.
I could be normal,
But for
Society.

Dear Heavenly FatherOne day,
I will love myself.
Why can't that be today?
I really think I could do it,
Someone just needs to show me the way.
I need a friend,
I need a hero,
Someone whose always there.
I need a savior,
I need a redeemer,
Someone whose with me everywhere.
I need a friend,
I need a hero,
I really need some advice.
Anybody,
Anywhere,
Can you save my life?

The Awakening I have thought of many ways to tell you this. I considered writing a diary, a letter, so many different things. So now, I've settled on this. My name is Bella Rose-Marie Angelo, but everyone calls me Belle. I'm seventeen. I write to you now to tell why I'm doing this. It isn't because of you. It's because of the Beast. My name is Belle, and this is my story.

Who I AmI took a knife,
To my skin today,
To see if I could wash away,
All the horrid things I've done.
Wash it all away,
With drops of blood.
I took a knife,
To my skin today.
I want to give my soul away.
I'm selling,
The very essence of me.
I don't value it, you see.
My favorite sin,
Is blade against skin.
Just the slightest pressure,
Is my release.
But this release,
Does not make me weak.
This release makes me,
Me.

Insignificantly UndefeatedI am surrounded by love.
To the north lie my mom,
Wild and free.
To the south lie my dad,
Who always believed in me.
But to the west,
Lie hate,
And all those who doubt.
To the west lie those,
I can live without.
To the east,
Lie pain and greed,
And sorrow.
To the east,
Lie those,
Who linger in my tomorrow.
I am a beautiful rose,
But I am hated for my thorns.
They gaze upon me with longing,
But speak to me with scorn.
They downplay my pain;
They assault my pride.
They use me,
Abuse me,
Then cast me aside.
I have outlived my usefulness,
So they leave me here to die.
If I could shed a tear,
I promise I woul

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Submitted: March 16
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We Regret To Inform You

by =clarissabelle, Mar 16, 2013, 7:16:50 AM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

Dear Claire,
We regret to inform you that as of 10:48, Thursday, 21 of March, your grandmother has passed away.

Dear Claire,
We regret to inform you that your application to University of Georgia School of Veterinary Science and Medicine has been rejected.

Dear Claire,
We regret to inform you that everything you've ever loved has slipped through your fingers and there is nothing you can do about it.

Dear Claire,
We regret to inform you that you are nothing and will never be anything more than a pathetic piece of dust that clings to those who are better than you.

Dear Claire,
We do not regret to inform you that you are suicidal, depressing, depressive, insane, bipolar, have no friends, and will never ever be anything else.

From the deepest pit of our destroyed, shared soul, love the ones who make you miserable,
Your Voices

We Regret To Inform Youby =clarissabelle

Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

All of the things I never want to hear

Critique by ~Zarasisters3 Mar 16, 2013, 11:48:35 PM

I think that this is a very realistic thing due to the impact. It's a harsh reality that many people suffer from. One thing may lead to another in your head and it will start a landslide that is almost impossible to escape. It really hurts to have this happen to you and it's not a very positive thing to think about, but most people never think it will happen until they are that person who is suicidal, depressed, depressive, insane, bipolar, have no friends and will never ever be anything else. The thing is I went through the whole deal in the 13 years I've been alive and I was almost that girl who committed suicide, so overall it sens out the message that non one wants this to happen, and yet sometimes it does. I love the technique and thought put into it.

What do you think?

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Critique by ~mahboi18 Mar 16, 2013, 3:20:16 PM

Joking aside, this poem hits home. I have experienced both losing a loved one, and facing rejection in different forms. It's not the end of the world, but an opportunity for another thing. As a writer myself, I find myself conflicted with emotional concerns such as this. Writing such poems or stories such as this is cathartic, and reading this makes me want to say "I feel your pain, bro/sis."
As depressing and emotional this poem is, It's relatable, and fuels me to become a better writer. Sometimes you have to flip Life "The Bird" and make opportunities for yourself.
I encourage you to always pour out your emotions in your writing. Cathartic writing draws in a lot of readers.

-Keeran

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~bottled-mermaid Mar 17, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Don't let those voices bring you down.
No one but YOU could find the best words to keep goin' on.
You are your own saviour

~bichodigital Mar 17, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Boy do I feel identified by this, at least in my darkest days. Life can be harsh, in a passive way but harsh at least. The worst is when I see other people getting a free pass at all my bad experiences or failures, then I question if lady luck is really blessing them and I'm the bastard child of her. But that's when anger kicks in and I'm filled with will once again. Thanks for this inspiring post, it's really full of heart!

*914four Mar 17, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

The only thing missing is the eviction notice for non-payment of rent because PayPal froze all your bank accounts for 180 days while they investigate a twelve dollar and seventy-nine cent dispute brought forward by a Kenyan buyer who claims he never received the gold Rolex* watch he bought from you on eBay.
On a more serious note, I understand where this comes from, I have lost three people close to me since December and I know what it's like to feel like a bug on a busy highway. This too shall pass. The best I can do is point to what I wrote above and recommend counting your blessings, after all, it could be worse; you could have the same name and date of birth as a wanted Al Qaeda operative...

*Disclaimer: This statement in no way promotes or endorses the purchasing or selling of Rolex watches on eBay. The writer is not employed by eBay or PayPal, nor can he afford to buy a Rolex.

~BlueMoonArtistry Mar 16, 2013 Student General Artist

Wow. This hits home. Hard. I know how you feel, when life seems to be the enemy. It's difficult.

~Esurio Mar 16, 2013

I think you're brave for putting your insecurities out there honestly. I promise you that nearly everyone has felt this way in their life, even if people deal with it in different ways. Some people drink it away, some are honest, some ignore it, some drown in their own insecurities, but no matter what we all feel them. The most important thing to remember is that none of us are as alone as we feel--after my diagnosis I told myself that every day and it helped keep me going. This is beautiful, simply because it's honest.

~SasukeUchihaSan Mar 16, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

O_o whoa..that's..um..deep..

=clarissabelle Mar 16, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you

~SasukeUchihaSan Mar 18, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

no prob!

~SourAir Mar 16, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I totally feel your pain. Everyone feels like this at some point. It doesn't help for me that my crush is good at everything, either. I constantly feel as if I'm not, and never will be good enough for him, and that I don't deserve him. It's a horrible feeling, right? But you and I have writing, at least. I may not be the best writer, but that doesn't matter to me at all. I write because I want to, and you should, too, no matter how 'good' or 'bad' you think you are. (If it makes you feel any better, I thing you're an amazing writer~

)
I hope I could help, at least!

=clarissabelle Mar 16, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you, and it really means a lot to me for you to take the time to write such a long, nice comment on a little piece of prose that I wrote, and you did help, so thank you

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