[x]

Pesky VoicesAm I schizophrenic?
Am I just a girl?
There's got to be,
More to me,
Then the voices,
And the world.
But I still scream,
At myself.
It's my fault,
And no one else.
I'm screaming,
And so are they.
Profanities,
Degradation,
Are things they hurl my way.
They say I want to die,
And I can't tell if they lie.
The voices are soft,
Kinder now.
I want to die,
And they'll tell me how.
It's simple.
I take the knife,
And end my life.

The Madness WithinRide away.
Fly away.
Run away.
Run.
But I can't.
I'm stuck.
I can't
Escape.
I can't run away.
They will always catch up.
Steps.
Over and over.
Going nowhere.
I am stuck on repeat.
I'm stuck.
Stuck.
Tick.
Tick tick.
Tock.
I can't escape.
Time.
I can't outrun the clock.

1Go on,
Go.
I won't be your freak show.
It's not "funny,"
It's not "cool."
I'm just a girl,
Who didn't know you were so cruel.
I made a mistake,
I'm sorry to say.
I paid for my mistake,
Very dearly today.
You took who I was,
And you tore up my heart.
I'm broken and bent,
I'm falling apart.
The roof of my home,
Has just caved in.
It looks like you did it.
I guess you win

Butterfly ScreamsIt's fun,
Isn't it?
Hurting me?
Killing me?
Watching me bleed?

Mocking me?
Striking me?
Ignoring my needs?

Destroying who I am,
And all I'll ever be.

But you wouldn't stop,
That I can see.

The butterflies in my stomach,
Scream as the hurtful words
Pin them to corkboard.
I'll cut myself,
And bleed.
I'm gonna lay down,
And hear the butterflies scream.

"Don't even worry."
"I'm perfectly fine."
Words are sandpaper,
And a couple of lies.

So while I'm here,
Down on the floor;
Do your worst,
Your worst and more.

So I'll lay down,
And bleed.
Even when I'm gone,
The butterflies will still scream.

Tragic ValentineWhen I look in your eyes,
I see the rest of my life.
I love you,
I do.
And I know you love me too.
A ring on my finger,
And another on yours.
We know each other.
We have no doors.
Even though we're separated,
By six feet of dirt.
The words you whisper,
Still heal my hurt.
The way you exist,
Inside my head,
A figment of the imagination,
Can never be dead.
I am yours,
And you are mine.
I will always love you,
My tragic Valentine.

Coming Apart at the SeamsAgain my arms have paid the price,
For the pathetic thing,
I call my life.
Cuts up and down,
Decorating my arm,
Keeping me safe,
From emotional harm.
Guarding my soul,
All through the night.
Showing that there is darkness,
Even in light.
So no matter how much I try,
To just go past,
The scars on my arms will always last.
They'll line up,
With the ones in my heart,
Until the day,
I finally fall apart.

A Perfect DayThe rain is pouring;
I don't know what to say.
I'm actually not depressed today.

The birds are silent,
And Mulan is on.
Where have the scars and nightmares gone?

Are they in the closet?
Under the bed?
Where have they gone?
Why have they fled?

You know what?
I don't care.
All that matters,
Is that they aren't there.

I'll grab a blanket,
Take a nap.
Eat some cereal,
Curl up with the cat.
Enjoy this time,
Until it's gone.
So let me sit down,
And put my happy face on.

Can'tCan't whiteout my mistakes,
Can't erase them from the page.

Can't shake my past,
Try though I may.

Can t run from you,
Wish I could.

Can't make myself happy,
Know I should.

Can't smile,
Have to frown.

I can't stay up,
I have to bring myself down.

I do,
But I don't.

Is it can't,
Or is it won't?

The Evolution of a UnicornI am a unicorn,
Rare, wild, and free.
But I'm being held,
In the reins of society.
She pulls me sharply,
And won't let me act out.
"Stop!
I'm my own unicorn!"
I want to shout.
She leads me to a stall,
Where awaits my downfall.
Society has clippers,
Big, scary, and long.
She says I must change,
Because I don't belong.
With a grand gesture,
She cuts off my horn.
So now I'm a horse,
Which means a forlorn unicorn.

We Are Friends"Freak!"
"Freak!"
They'll call you;
They'll call your name,
And you'll get blue.
But please don't cry,
I'll pull you through.
You know why?

Cuz that's what friends do.

Cut and cut,
Slit your wrists.
But please think of what you'll miss.

You'll never see me find a guy;
You won't be around to help me not die.
Suicide isn't selfish,
It's not selfish at all.
Suicide is simply,
A wake up call.
But whenever you feel down,
Call me up,
I won't let you frown.
I will never,
Let go of you.
You know why?

Cuz that's what best friends do.

I'll make you laugh,
Til you cry.
I'll be so funny,
You won't want to die.
You're my hero;
Please don't

Dear ClaireDear Claire,
I'm sick of the happiness,
And the smiles.

I'm sick of your laughter;
It's been going on for a while.

Where are the tears?
I miss the despair.

I like you depressed,
Because that's when you're Claire.

I think you should change,
Because I said so.

You're not happy,
You and I both know.

So start crying,
And slit your wrists.

Yes, yes,
That pain you've missed.

We're only here for you;
Don't you feel good now?

Yes, you do.
We can tell you how.

Just listen.
Listen, Claire.

C'mon, you can do it.
Give in to the despair.

We do it for you.
Love,
The Voices.

Lo, How She Lie, Still and BrokenI'm trying so hard to get better,
So hard to be strong.
I'm trying so hard to keep smiling,
So hard to go on.
But I'm getting tired,
This happiness drains me.
The walls are closing in,
It's getting hard to breath.
My conciousness,
Goes in and out.
The room goes black and white.
I can't take much more of this,
I think I've lost my sight.

Moral of the story:

You can't do it all,
Because no matter what you say or do,
Even the mighty fall.

Are you blind?Are you blind to my misery,
Or do you choose not to look?
I want to share my story,
But you close me like a book.

I'm screaming as I cry,
But you refuse to hear.
Look away as I die,
Ignore each little tear.

Am I not loud enough?
Is that why you ignore my scream?
My life is tough,
Help me escape this bad dream.

I scream a bit higher.
Please, I need your help!
My circumstances are dire.
I'm losing myself.

But you do not help me,
And I've decided to give up.
Maybe then you'll see.
Ha! That's just my luck.

ScreamingScreaming on the inside,
Smiling on the out.
I don't need this torture;
I don't need this doubt.

I'm sick of denial;
I'm sick of these lies.
Once, just once,
My smile should reach my eyes.

My scars are fading;
My courage is gone.
Everyone's jaded,
It's time I move on.

To a world with no sadness,
Lies,
Or fear.
A world of wonder,
Lingers near.

A slip of the knife,
Like a slip of the tongue.
I've ended my life.
I'm finally done.

My MonstersI can't breathe.
It's too tight.
I hear so many things,
can't trust my sight.

The monsters surround.
No, they're not really here.
They reach out to grab me.
They smell my fear.

Have I finally lost my mind?
Am I totally insane?
Is this all in my head?
Is it just a sick game?

Or are they really there?
Do they smile as I scream?
Do they laugh at my tears?
Please, let this be a dream.

But it's not a dream.
I can't get out.
A hand surrounds my neck,
no air to shout.

Tears stream freely.
They start to close in.
I pray to god to help me,
to forgive all my sin.

The world starts to fade.
I can no longer see.
I smile in bliss.
I'm finally free.

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More from =clarissabelle

FlyWhat is a "life?"
If it has no meaning?
Can I truly live
While I'm still grieving?
Is the weight of the world
Going to crush me?
I have no future,
As far as I can see.
I let her fall.
Now I never speak her name.
I let her fall.
Is it time for me to do the same?

To My Dearest (Not) FamilyThey told me that I was nothing.
But I have proved them wrong.
So the next they come knocking,
All I'll tell them is, "Go on."
I rose from the ashes,
Like a a Phoenix from the flames.
I rose above them all,
And put the rest of my family to shame.
They can beg me for help,
But it to them I'll never give.
They don't deserve my love,
They don't even deserve to live.
Those pathetic fools,
Thinking they could trust me.
Well now you see what it gets them.
They are in the street,
Hungry.
My family put me down,
They told me I was nothing.
But I have proved them wrong.
So next time they come knocking,
To them I'll sing

The Cost of VictoryYou are cruel,
Mean and sly.
You do your best to make me cry.
But I will not break.
I will not bow.
Do what you will,
But I won't back down.
My spirit is strong,
Much stronger than yours.
I've protected myself from you.
I've shut all my windows,
And locked all my doors.
I can't keep you away,
But I can try.
Every day,
And every lie,
Is another day,
That I haven't died.
You haven't won,
And I haven't lost.
And when this is over,
What will victory cost?

Death Is MineOften to Death my thoughts drift.
Death my spirit can upward lift.
I've been clean
For so long.
In Death's arms,
I belong.
Death's arms wrap around me tight,
And promise me a new night.
Death tells a story
That only I can hear.
Death whispers softly to me,
And desolves all my fears.
To his arms I decline,
Death is here,
Death is mine.
Now I'm gone,
I wasted all my time.
Now Death is here,
And now, Death is mine.

My Delayed DepartureI am not alone.
I am not sad.
I am not scared.
I am just mad.
Depression has no place here.
Down in this place of rage.
I pour out all my feelings,
With a pen on a page.
With ink as red as blood,
What I feel comes out in a torrid flood.
A spot is smudged,
By a fallen tear.
Not for fear,
But for frustration.
I don't know how
To release my agitation.
I broke my knife,
As well as my heart,
When from this life,
I tried to depart.
I am broken,
But held together by pain.
Strings of insanity and madness
Have bound me together again.

The Darkest HourA strong heart cannot withstand
The hate that rules,
In this land.
The lightest soul
Would be tarnished
With the darkness and tar
That watches us all from afar.
The hatred is immediate.
It battles with the love
And vanquishes it.
The darkness invades
And finds a home.
It stays
And will not leave.
Stay away,
My warning you should heed.
This place was not meant for a person.
It's darkness is frightening,
There's no way to fight,
Nothing is working.
This darkness is in my soul.
There's no way to fight,
This darkness is in your home.

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Submitted: February 2
File Size: 699 bytes

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Lost

by =clarissabelle, Feb 2, 2013, 2:10:24 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Lost.
I am lost.
Falling.
Falling.
F
A
L
L
I
N
G.
I have no direction.
I'm falling into a universe,
An alternate reality.
I am trapped.
Twisting, turning,
Pushing, pulling,
Stop, go.
Endless cycles,
That never stop.
Inside those cycles,
I am
Lost.

Lostby =clarissabelle

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

...

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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wow 1 1

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~aurora-celest Feb 9, 2013

Your avatar is adorable.

=clarissabelle Feb 9, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you

. It was made by

She's very nice

~onirique7 Feb 3, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

One of the best poems, I've read

=clarissabelle Feb 3, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thanks

`MagicalJoey Feb 3, 2013 Writer

Doesn't it just feel this way sometimes. I can relate.

*Niyla Feb 2, 2013

The one comment I have is about the third "Falling" with staggered text.
The way it's oriented, it has a very pointed arc from top left to bottom right, which gives it a direction and a feeling of being grounded by gravity. The next few lines that follow then deny that effect, in a sense. Just something to consider.

~TheSmall Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist

wow
simply wow

=clarissabelle Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Wait, good wow or bad wow?

~TheSmall Feb 3, 2013 Hobbyist

good wow (:

*iinoxi Feb 2, 2013 Student Traditional Artist

Fucking GPS,
Never works. . . .

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Lost

Lostby =clarissabelle

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