[x]

ScreamingScreaming on the inside,
Smiling on the out.
I don't need this torture;
I don't need this doubt.

I'm sick of denial;
I'm sick of these lies.
Once, just once,
My smile should reach my eyes.

My scars are fading;
My courage is gone.
Everyone's jaded,
It's time I move on.

To a world with no sadness,
Lies,
Or fear.
A world of wonder,
Lingers near.

A slip of the knife,
Like a slip of the tongue.
I've ended my life.
I'm finally done.

Does Death Hurt?Does death hurt?

When the knife digs into flesh
do you fall into your knees in pain
or simply in shock of motion?

When you slip away in the dark of sleep
does the dream still remain
as you travel to worlds unknown?

When the drugs hit your body
does your heart stop suddenly
or can you feel the imminent end?

When the noose slips tight
does your head feel heavy
and your limbs feel numb?

When the water rushes in
to the castle only of air
can you feel your breath cut off?

When the dirt piles over
and the air runs out
can you feel the choking?

So riddle me this,
oh master of death,
does it hurt to die?

Society and What She IsEvery smile is a lie.
Every laugh is a lie.
Every single time I say I'm okay,
I lie.
I have never been happy.
I learned that I need to hide,
Hide the depression,
Hide everything that is wrong.
Hide what I feel,
Because society thinks it is wrong.
Society,
And it's uniformity,
It's disgust,
Press down on me like an anvil.
Society is breathing down my back,
Analyzing me,
Like I am not human.
Like I am not one of them.
I do not conform,
So Society makes me believe I am wrong,
A freak,
A science experiment.
Society makes me this.
I could be normal,
But for
Society.

CutsJust a tiny one. That's all I need

Reach for the blade

It's the only thing that helps

Take the pain away.

A little deeper now. Just this once

More and more

You crave it so

Farther, longer. I need it now

You're feeling weaker now

You're ready to leave yet.

Just one more

Congratulations

Now you're dead

Wasted tears, Wasted yearsThese tears i've cried
Are bitter when tasted
My time is wasted
On people who don't care
Who weren't there
And certainly aren't here now
To witness how,
She fell
Her color and vibrancy drained dry

I canYour heart is screaming
I will hear it

Your heart is falling
I will catch it

Your heart is broken
I will fix it

Your heart is lonely
I will accompany it

Your heart is calling me
I will pick up

Your heart wants to hold my hand
I will make it a reality

Your heart is blushing
I will caresses it

Your heart wants to tell me something
I will listen to it

Because my heart is telling me
That it loves you

Butterfly ScreamsIt's fun,
Isn't it?
Hurting me?
Killing me?
Watching me bleed?

Mocking me?
Striking me?
Ignoring my needs?

Destroying who I am,
And all I'll ever be.

But you wouldn't stop,
That I can see.

The butterflies in my stomach,
Scream as the hurtful words
Pin them to corkboard.
I'll cut myself,
And bleed.
I'm gonna lay down,
And hear the butterflies scream.

"Don't even worry."
"I'm perfectly fine."
Words are sandpaper,
And a couple of lies.

So while I'm here,
Down on the floor;
Do your worst,
Your worst and more.

So I'll lay down,
And bleed.
Even when I'm gone,
The butterflies will still scream.

OvercomeThe power of Christ compels you!
Leave me alone!
The power if Christ compels you!
Go back to your godforsaken home!
No! You can't do this!
How are you still here?
Stay in the pentagram!
You're supposed to disappear!
Oh, I understand.
My faith wasn't enough to be strong.
So now I'm here with you,
In Hell where I belong.
I'm supposed to be here,
Or at least that's what you say.
But unlike you,
My faith grows everyday.
God will save me,
That I surely know.
You think I belong here,
But really I should go.
My faith in God, my spirit,
Both you tried to kill.
I know that I'll get out of here.
Someday,
I will.

Hath You No Shame?Love.
It's "sacred," "pure,"
I don't want love!
I want the cure!
Love is pain,
And sadness.
Being in love,
Is an unbearable madness.
Love is a waste.
It's poison in my mouth,
The bitterest taste.
Love is nothing.
It is pain,
And sorrow.
It's fighting and hating,
Anticipating tomorrow.
For those of you,
Who claim love is "wild and free,"
I promise it's not.
Just look at me.

A Unhappy Ending to my Cinderella StoryYou look at me,
Eyes filled with disgust.
It's not an option,
You must.
You must because you married my father.
If I were smooth marble,
You'd be an angry carver,
Your greatest masterpiece.
Sell me in an auction,
Take your kids and leave.

If I were a punching bag,
You'd be the greatest boxer.
And all only because,
You married my father.
You'd wrap up your knuckles,
Beat me til I'm soft.
Then harden me up,
From my hook you take me off.

You promised,
Promised you were different.
But you're not,
And I want to end it.
I thought you weren't like her;
I was wrong.
You're a spitting image,
Of my very own mom.

JanusBehind the copper doorway
Beyond the golden room
There awaits your future
There awaits your doom
Janus, the god of choices,
Asks will you go left or right?
You could discover nirvana,
Or you could die tonight.
Are you ready to take that risk?
Take that bow,
Brave that cliff?
Will you survive?
No one knows.
But no matter what,
Whither thou goest,
I go.
Trust me with your heart,
Trust me with your all.
I won't let you down,
I won't let your faith fall.
So, Janus,
I'll tell you now,
The choice is mine to be brave.
Leave my golden room,
For my choice,
I have made.

I Have Never Really Known YouI see you're hurting.
I try to help.
I can't reach you.
Can anyone else?
The one who loves you,
Does he hear your plea?
If anyone does,
It's not me.
I know you are strong,
But it's okay to be weak.
It's okay to fall down;
It's okay to be meek.
Before you fall,
In that briar patch,
You should know,
I have your back.
We laugh,
Together.
We cry,
Together.
Soul Best Friends For Like,
Fucking Ever.
Our time together,
Will never pass.
Jump off a bridge,
I'll get on my boat,
And save your ass.

106.8The weight on the scale,
Says that I failed.
I know that I'm fat,
That settles that.
I want to be pretty,
Skinny and thin.
I want a flat tummy,
Is that such a sin?
I hate my belly,
It jiggles like jelly.
My thunder thighs,
Are a curse to my eyes.
My invisible collar bone,
Makes my heart sink like a stone.
I hate my weight,
106.8

The Abdication of the ThroneCalling my name,
Screaming for me to run towards you.
But I can't,
I won't,
What should I do?

I want to run,
But is it right?
Should I stay?
Should I fight?

All my dreams,
My childish fears,
They live in my mind,
And escape through my tears.

I can't hold on,
I just want to fall.
I want run,
And escape over the wall.

I'm gonna let go;
I'm gonna fall down.
I have lost hope,
And deserted my crown.

Lo, How She Lie, Still and BrokenI'm trying so hard to get better,
So hard to be strong.
I'm trying so hard to keep smiling,
So hard to go on.
But I'm getting tired,
This happiness drains me.
The walls are closing in,
It's getting hard to breath.
My conciousness,
Goes in and out.
The room goes black and white.
I can't take much more of this,
I think I've lost my sight.

Moral of the story:

You can't do it all,
Because no matter what you say or do,
Even the mighty fall.

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Redemption of a Fallen AngelI am not free.
My wings are gone.
I cannot fly.
All I can do,
Is wait here to die,
I walk in this land of mortals,
I see pain, hatred, and fear.
I see bloodshed, and betrayal,
And fallen tears.
They fall,
Like me,
Gravity pulls them down.
And they fall atop the grass,
Like a halo,
Or a crown.
God has cast me out,
I am a mere mortal girl.
I am alone,
A foreigner to this world.
A lonely fallen angel,
But I can still please God.
I can please the Father,
The One Who Was,
And Is,
And Forever Shall Be.
I will earn back God's favour.
I can be worthy.

Free of YouI can't trust the ones around me.
I can't let them see the real me.
They think under my depression,
And sadness,
And scars,
And madness,
That there is a truly happy girl,
Waiting to escape.
She will never emerge,
No matter how long they wait.
Because she simply isn't there.
Under all the layers,
Of my different personalities,
All there is,
Is simply little ol' me.
I'm not spectacular,
I don't not have a big heart.
If you take away the strings if me,
I will fall apart.
The threads if love,
Few those they may be,
Are the only things that hold together,
My fragile sanity.
Love for my poetry,
Photography,
And my

HopeEven in this dark place,
There will be hope.
Because I see my shadow,
I know there is a light.
I know there will be a day,
Because there is a night.
I know this fear will end,
I know I will weather the storm.
I know I can do this
You just have to let me go on.

:chorus:

I will go on, I will fight the good fight. I will win this war, there will be no fighting tonite. There will be a day. I will see the sun. I fought the fight, and now I have won.

:chorus end:

We are all the same,
And we will all survive,
We will persist,
We will survive.
So sing this song with me.
And celebrate the ending,
That I may not see,

:chorus:

So

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Submitted: February 23
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Life in the Shadows

by =clarissabelle, Feb 23, 2013, 8:17:38 PM
Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Traditional Fixed Forms

Is it wrong that I feel this way?
Am I wrong because I'm...
Different?
The feeling if being normal,
I miss it.

I can't tell anyone;
I'm so afraid.
The way I was,
I should've stayed.

Is this really a disease?
Is there really no cure?
I'm so confused;
God made me,
Yet God is pure.

So what you're saying,
Is I should change?
That I'm wrong,
Because I'm gay?

Don't tell me that.
I refuse to change who I am.
You don't own me.
I mean,
Damn.

Life in the Shadowsby =clarissabelle

Literature / Poetry / Human Nature / Traditional Fixed Forms

A friend of mine is gay and hasn't come out to anyone but to me. I was talking to him and wrote this.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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love 2 2

joy 2 2

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~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

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~~neutral 0 0~~

~Puppyeyes427 Jun 5, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

This is good, mate. People shouldn't be judged for who they are. Tell your friend I said G'Day and t' be proud of 'imself for being who he is. You should be proud of yourself f'r being who you are and encouraging others.

=clarissabelle Jun 6, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you. And I will.

`MagicalJoey Feb 26, 2013 Writer

He is what he is. He didn't choose it, so he shouldn't have to change. At least he has your support.

~lexitaylor670 Feb 25, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

i like it

it tells a good story that many go through

*jellybeansEVERYWHERE Feb 24, 2013

This poem is just very...kind.
That is the only way I could sum it up. ^~^
You're going to show this poem to him, right?

=clarissabelle Feb 24, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you, and yeah, I think so.

*jellybeansEVERYWHERE Feb 24, 2013

Welcome! And that's good! When you do could you possibly tell me how he reacts?

~kayceethe166 Feb 23, 2013

do whats right, and let the chips fall where they may. because if you dont stand for something, youll fall for anything.

and your poem is excellent, by the way. good tempo, good rhyme scheme. and a powerful message.

=clarissabelle Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you, And I'm encouraging him to come out.

~DemiSven Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

I was once in a situation similar. There was this guy who "liked" me said he was confused and needed help so he kept hanging out with me trying to see if he liked women or men. I told him either way I was gonna stay by his side when he told his family. I went with him to meet his parents and he came out. They were fine with it but, his father didn't know how to react he thought the awesome sports player of a son he had before was gone. me and my friend had a party at his place for the super bowl, we invited his family. At first his dad felt weird around him but they opened them selves up to each other. And you wouldn't believe it but now whenever his dad his going out or buying things for his mother he asks his son for help and thats how they bond. It really is sweet!

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Life in the Shadows

Life in the Shadowsby =clarissabelle

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