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I'm Fine"Are you okay?"
That's all they say.
And I leave behind
These words in my mind.
I'm broken, I'm dying.
Inside, I'm crying.
There are wounds beneath my skin.
There are trials I face within.
There are things I just can't say.
There are people I must betray.
Beneath a smile, I feel pain.
Behind the sun, there's always a little rain.
And beneath these words I hold in my head...
There's always the thing I say instead.
I leave the truth behind..
So when they say, "are you okay?"
I always say, "I'm fine."

Tragic ValentineWhen I look in your eyes,
I see the rest of my life.
I love you,
I do.
And I know you love me too.
A ring on my finger,
And another on yours.
We know each other.
We have no doors.
Even though we're separated,
By six feet of dirt.
The words you whisper,
Still heal my hurt.
The way you exist,
Inside my head,
A figment of the imagination,
Can never be dead.
I am yours,
And you are mine.
I will always love you,
My tragic Valentine.

SuicideI'm not okay.
I'm not "free."
I'm not the me,
You think to be me.
I'm falling up,
Into a beautiful sky of blood.
All of it's mine,
Leaving my body,
In a torrential flood.
I want to leave,
Pop those pills.
Join Death,
In roaming the rolling hills.
I want my canvas,
Of blood and skin.
I want my body destroyed,
To commit that beautiful sin.
I want the pain,
The poison and death.
I want that exhilaration,
And loss of breath.
I want to die,
And go away.
So I shall take my life,
Today.

ScreamingScreaming on the inside,
Smiling on the out.
I don't need this torture;
I don't need this doubt.

I'm sick of denial;
I'm sick of these lies.
Once, just once,
My smile should reach my eyes.

My scars are fading;
My courage is gone.
Everyone's jaded,
It's time I move on.

To a world with no sadness,
Lies,
Or fear.
A world of wonder,
Lingers near.

A slip of the knife,
Like a slip of the tongue.
I've ended my life.
I'm finally done.

1Go on,
Go.
I won't be your freak show.
It's not "funny,"
It's not "cool."
I'm just a girl,
Who didn't know you were so cruel.
I made a mistake,
I'm sorry to say.
I paid for my mistake,
Very dearly today.
You took who I was,
And you tore up my heart.
I'm broken and bent,
I'm falling apart.
The roof of my home,
Has just caved in.
It looks like you did it.
I guess you win

The Abdication of the ThroneCalling my name,
Screaming for me to run towards you.
But I can't,
I won't,
What should I do?

I want to run,
But is it right?
Should I stay?
Should I fight?

All my dreams,
My childish fears,
They live in my mind,
And escape through my tears.

I can't hold on,
I just want to fall.
I want run,
And escape over the wall.

I'm gonna let go;
I'm gonna fall down.
I have lost hope,
And deserted my crown.

JanusBehind the copper doorway
Beyond the golden room
There awaits your future
There awaits your doom
Janus, the god of choices,
Asks will you go left or right?
You could discover nirvana,
Or you could die tonight.
Are you ready to take that risk?
Take that bow,
Brave that cliff?
Will you survive?
No one knows.
But no matter what,
Whither thou goest,
I go.
Trust me with your heart,
Trust me with your all.
I won't let you down,
I won't let your faith fall.
So, Janus,
I'll tell you now,
The choice is mine to be brave.
Leave my golden room,
For my choice,
I have made.

The MonsterI can't trust;
I can't love you.
The monster,
It's overpowering.
I'm not strong enough;
It has invaded me.
Every organ,
Every cell,
Every molecule,
Has been destroyed,
And taken over by something that isn't human.

It has to be something else;
It has to.
I wouldn't cut myself.
I wouldn't hate myself,
Or starve myself,
Or lose myself in a sea of hatred,
Of bloodlust,
And sorrow.
Would I?

TryPurposefully hiding firm the world,
A beautiful girl lurks within,
Never know if she can emerge.
Doubting the world,
Outside.
Reality is harsh,
And she cannot escape.
Making her own,
Is a wish that
Cannot be fulfilled.
Hoping,
And dreaming of a better day,
Even though tomorrow,
Looks so far away.
Is it possible?
Should she even
Try?

My ''Friend''Can't wait to take my place,
Can't wait for me to be erased,
Can't wait for when I fall,
You're going to steal it all.

Call me a friend,
But you're really a foe.
I smile and say yes,
But inside I scream no.

Call my name,
I won't answer.
I've lost myself,
To the greed and the cancer.

It contaminated my cells,
Poisoned my body.
My guard was down,
My protection shoddy.

Break me down,
But already you have.
Inside and out,
I've been given a bath.

A bath in acid,
With some drops of your blood,
I sit in the filth,
The dirtiest mud.

I have no choice;
I'm so confused.
One question to answer:
Have I been used?

Lo, How She Lie, Still and BrokenI'm trying so hard to get better,
So hard to be strong.
I'm trying so hard to keep smiling,
So hard to go on.
But I'm getting tired,
This happiness drains me.
The walls are closing in,
It's getting hard to breath.
My conciousness,
Goes in and out.
The room goes black and white.
I can't take much more of this,
I think I've lost my sight.

Moral of the story:

You can't do it all,
Because no matter what you say or do,
Even the mighty fall.

The Story We KnowRun, Dorothy, run,
Like you've never run before.
Hurry,
Don't wait!!
Oz will shut the door!

Tin Man needs a heart;
Cowardly Lion needs some courage.
Scarecrow needs some brains,
Oz needs your words.

Dorothy,
With those red slippers,
The Wicked Witch will chase now.
You angered her,
Ruined her,
Crushed her sister with your house.

Glenda,
The Good Witch,
Can only protect you for so long.
See?
See now?
She's gone.

Tim Man has heart,
Cowardly Lion crus on the floor,
Scarecrow is just straw.
Why'd you let Oz shut the door?

Dear ClaireDear Claire,
I'm sick of the happiness,
And the smiles.

I'm sick of your laughter;
It's been going on for a while.

Where are the tears?
I miss the despair.

I like you depressed,
Because that's when you're Claire.

I think you should change,
Because I said so.

You're not happy,
You and I both know.

So start crying,
And slit your wrists.

Yes, yes,
That pain you've missed.

We're only here for you;
Don't you feel good now?

Yes, you do.
We can tell you how.

Just listen.
Listen, Claire.

C'mon, you can do it.
Give in to the despair.

We do it for you.
Love,
The Voices.

OvercomeThe power of Christ compels you!
Leave me alone!
The power if Christ compels you!
Go back to your godforsaken home!
No! You can't do this!
How are you still here?
Stay in the pentagram!
You're supposed to disappear!
Oh, I understand.
My faith wasn't enough to be strong.
So now I'm here with you,
In Hell where I belong.
I'm supposed to be here,
Or at least that's what you say.
But unlike you,
My faith grows everyday.
God will save me,
That I surely know.
You think I belong here,
But really I should go.
My faith in God, my spirit,
Both you tried to kill.
I know that I'll get out of here.
Someday,
I will.

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More from =clarissabelle

It's My LifeLeave me alone.
I get inspiration from my depression.
I find bravery,
In my regression.
The cuts on my wrist,
Are a pattern of inspriration.
But others say,
They're an aberration.
Don't try to fix me.
This is who I am.
This is my life.
To change it,
I'll be damned.
I refuse to be changed.
So good luck trying.
On the surface, I look happy,
But inside I am dying.
Give it a rest,
And let it be.
You should give up.
You can't fix me.

C'est La VieAprodite, stupid bitch,
You shot the wrong girl!
He looks for someone else,
But he is my whole world.
Your arrow hit me,
But I'm not pretty or wild.
I'm Claire, just Claire,
With the innocence of a child.
I'm just me,
All I've ever been.
Just a little girl,
Lost without a friend.
In the droves of self-pity,
I have found my place.
With shackles around my wrist,
I can't bear to see my face.
I'm still lying to him,
Pretending I'm doing well.
But every time I smile,
I go through pure hell.
Like drinking battery acid,
Or salt on torn flesh,
The pain of seeing you,
That's all I have left.
Can't look on you happily,
Without being in secret despair.

Who Am I?My name is hopeless,
Haunted,
And unloved.

My face is scarred,
Twisted,
And cleaved.

My heart is broken,
Blackened,
Nettled.

I am not a human,
I am a monster.
I have been sent forth from Hell.
I cast despair.
On those whom my eyes fall,
Be they strong,
Weak,
Short,
Tall,
None are safe.
I will never be done.
You cannot hide.
You can only run.

The Shams of What RemainsMorals are so hard to cling to,
When everyone's doing drugs.
Crimes are committed everywhere,
And everyone's a thug.

Being a virgin isn't a virtue,
You hide it away with shame.
Yet while all of drink and smoke,
Proudly I proclaim,
Alcohol, I know not the taste.
Smoking, I do scorn.
I shall not look,
While away you waste,
Looking so forlorn.

I am my own person,
And my morals I hold dear.
I quietly sit at home,
While my friends win "Stupidest Decision of the Year."

Though I'm not perfect,
And I'll never claim to be.
My peace of mind is worth it,
So I'll be true,
To me.

JanusBehind the copper doorway
Beyond the golden room
There awaits your future
There awaits your doom
Janus, the god of choices,
Asks will you go left or right?
You could discover nirvana,
Or you could die tonight.
Are you ready to take that risk?
Take that bow,
Brave that cliff?
Will you survive?
No one knows.
But no matter what,
Whither thou goest,
I go.
Trust me with your heart,
Trust me with your all.
I won't let you down,
I won't let your faith fall.
So, Janus,
I'll tell you now,
The choice is mine to be brave.
Leave my golden room,
For my choice,
I have made.

The Abdication of the ThroneCalling my name,
Screaming for me to run towards you.
But I can't,
I won't,
What should I do?

I want to run,
But is it right?
Should I stay?
Should I fight?

All my dreams,
My childish fears,
They live in my mind,
And escape through my tears.

I can't hold on,
I just want to fall.
I want run,
And escape over the wall.

I'm gonna let go;
I'm gonna fall down.
I have lost hope,
And deserted my crown.

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Insaneby =clarissabelle

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

©2013 =clarissabelle

I wrote this to a friend when he and I were fighting.

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`MagicalJoey Feb 4, 2013 Writer

Pain caused by others hurts more than pain caused by ourselves, in my opinion at least.

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~LightYears-Away Mar 30, 2013 New member Student Digital Artist

agreed.

Reply

Mood: Sadness

~MrStockley Feb 22, 2013

I agree..

Reply

~Ashbrie13 Jan 24, 2013 Student General Artist

So frickin' true.

Reply

=clarissabelle Jan 25, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Isn't it though?

Reply

~Ashbrie13 Jan 25, 2013 Student General Artist

yeah

Reply

Mood: Delighted

~BruiseyandKeith1 Jan 24, 2013 Student Artist

I love your work it speaks so loudly but yet so gently, i can't critique perfection... i hope you make it to were i can buy this in a hard back book, so every time i hurt i wouldn't feel like the only one. Thank you for being so brave

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Mood: Sentimental

=clarissabelle Jan 24, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you. You really don't know how much this truly means to me. I wish I could think of words that would describe my gratitude. I'm so glad my poetry is helping you. I wish I could thank you in person for your encouragement. And it isn't me being brave, it's all of us being brave, together.

I hope you stop hurting.

Reply

~BruiseyandKeith1 Jan 24, 2013 Student Artist

I've been healing, slowly. All you've done for me was express yourself but even with that your words have healed me. I hope someday I could meet you, artist to artist, writer to writer, face to face. The girl of beauty inside, and most likely out. I wish you the best of luck to easing your pain because in all honesty, it never leaves but it eases to were it becomes bearable. Thank you.

Reply

=clarissabelle Jan 24, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I feel the exact same way. It is a miracle that my poetry has touched you life in that way. I'm so thankful that I can do that, even if it's just for one person. It is the greatest gift I could ever give, or receive. Thank you for telling me all this, and letting my words heal you. Thank you, truly.

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